how do u pack up 7years of your life into just 2 suitcase? seems like an impossible task..... and i'm not just talking about the hundreds of pairs of shoes,or the boxes of unused Pupa makeup kits,... the framed pictures,do i leave it on the walls? would it hurt less to those i'm leaving behind if i took them off? or would the empty walls hurt more?
how do i leave the memories behind? would it be fair to take them with me if i plan to build a new life with someone else? but how do u erase 7yrs? how can i make it hurt less for everyone involved? i think i've really made a mess of things.....everything all knotted up, entangled in a mess, how long is it going to take to disentangle everything and everyone so life can go on for all of us?
everyone always said life isn't easy,but this is getting bloody ridiculous... i know i know,i brought this all upon myself,but love hits you when you least expect it,how do i ignore that absolute feeling of content and joy by doing simple things like going to the grocery shop, having dinner in front of the tv... i've never felt this way before,never wanted to rush to have a hot meal waiting for someone after he had a long day at work,never wanted to wake up to make someone breakfast........ this is not infatuation, its different,it feels like the real deal.
and to be fair, the other person.....he deserves someone who would want to do things like that for him,he deserves someone who would love him unconditionally,the way he used to love me, before i broke his heart...
i know i am doing the right thing by walking away, while we still both have the chance to build a new life... but its so emotionally draining, just when i think i am all out of tears, they start to flow... no they pour out like crazy.......
i know i need to be strong,go forward and not look back. that's what i plan to do too... but then again,somethings are easier said then done....
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